Be More Lighthouse
Every lighthouse knows that when the giant waves come, no one will help! And when you know that no one will help you, you fight more seriously!
– Mehmet Murat Ildan
6 June 1994 I stepped nervously off the train at the Lympstone Commando platform, my own personal D-Day. It wasn’t Sword Beach and the emotions experienced by a generation at the Normandy landings 50 years earlier. However, I was full of trepidation and excitement. Trepidation for how I’d measure up against the Commando standard but yet excited for those first steps and the challenges ahead to becoming a Royal Marines Commando. A career that spanned 27 years, ending on 5 March 2021 as the Regimental Sergeant Major of that same establishment, Commando Training Centre Royal Marines.
The Royal Marines have a history that dates back to 28 October 1664. Known then as the Duke of York and Albany's Maritime Regiment of Foot, raised to serve the nation in its time of need during the Second Anglo Dutch war. The Royal Marines have served their country with gallantry and honour from that day to this. Throughout the centuries they have continued to evolve and adapt to requirements. During World War II they served on land, at sea and in the air. Some made up dedicated Royal Marines Commando Units, forming Special Service Brigades alongside their Army Commando counterparts. In 1946 they continued being the lead for the nations Commando force. An organisation that continues to operate across all domains, complementing the other Services and providing a bedrock for other formations, predominantly UK Special Forces. Much of this is due to the Commando Spirit, Values and Commando Mindset instilled into every new joiner. To me these weren’t just words on a card or a pithy tag line. It is an ethos I live my life by. As a Royal Marine you’re expected to be a good citizen as well as a professional soldier, you are never off duty. The Services are exactly that, a life of service to others. You are part of something bigger than any individual.
I developed my own mantra whilst serving, which was ‘Every Day Earn Your Beret!’ Some days I did better than others, I am far from perfect, but I tried. Where and when I failed, I’d attempt to do better, to learn.
After successful completion of all the Commando Tests and at the end of the 30 Miler a recruit is awarded their Commando Green Beret. They earn it by all they’ve done, from the moment they decided to join the Royal Marines and by all they have gone through as a recruit, which is a lot. Once awarded they then have to continue to earn it by what they do and how they do it, every day. If ‘Once a Royal Marine always a Royal Marine’ is to have any credibility, then after active service you should also expect to be held accountable to these values and standards and be the best civilian you can be.
Being a Royal Marine was something I loved doing, something I was proud off. I am still proud to have served. Like everything else, it had to end at some point. This was something I thought about regularly in my final years, how would it affect me, how would I approach and deal with it. Firstly, I was determined to enjoy my final years as much as I’d enjoyed the preceding ones whilst constantly reminding myself that it will end and soon. I was fortunate enough to reach the rank and position of WO1(RSM), the senior enlisted rank in the establishment. Being at Commando Training Centre allowed me to get back to my roots, to finish my career doing the activities that I’d done at the start. I seized that opportunity, getting involved and taking part in as much of the training as possible. As well as doing this for myself, to see if I still could, I did this to set an example for the recruits and the other trained ranks. Nothing was beneath me, more often than not I learned from them. I may have been the Senior Enlisted rank but fundamentally I was just a Marine, just like them. My rank was only by virtue of time served and experience. The position and rank came with privileges. However, leadership is fundamentally about serving others. The privileges, the rank, the RSM’s Cane, the uniform even the cap badge didn’t belong to me. They belonged to the organisation, to the Royal Marines and they would take it all back and quickly replace me when the time was right; this is the way.
The timing was something I could control. Reaching WO1 allowed me to extend beyond my initial 22 year contract and I was offered the opportunity to extend again, to continue to serve. I was very grateful for the offer but sometimes the best memories also depend on knowing when to ‘leave the party’. Ultimately the Corps needs people to leave so others can promote. There is no shortage of capable and professional individuals waiting their chance. If I left, what was I going to do? I still had the same responsibilities, the same bills and commitments that everyone else has to meet in life.
The easy option and some would argue the smart option would be to take a further extension, continue to wear the uniform. The time felt right to leave and staying didn’t sit right with me. It was time for others to have a go. I’d lived my life by a set of values and standards. They had served me well, now wasn’t the time to abandon them.
Hanging on the wall in the Kings’ Squad Bar of the Officers Mess CTCRM is a sign that says, “Comfortable with uncertainty’. Commando soldiers are expected to be comfortable with uncertainty, and they are during operational deployments. I’d lived and fought through uncertain times. Like many for months at a time I never knew if I’d see family and friends again, whether at the end of a patrol I’d still have life or limbs. An uncertainty I’d volunteered for, trained for and to a degree relished.
Leaving the Corps was different altogether. The uncertainty of what I was going to do for employment, the uncertainty of how I’d react to not being in uniform, even the uncertainty of living back home permanently. I love my family and they love me, but they were used to me being away too. Was I comfortable with this uncertainty?
Courage is one of the values I’d always tried to aspire too. Now was the time to demonstrate some courage. Now was the time to live up to the Commando ethos.
A friend of mine said that ‘leaving the Royal Marines was like taking your arm out of a bucket of shit! It raised my eyebrow at the time, but the explanation made sense. Taking your arm out and washing the shit off is akin to taking off the uniform. Even though it’s removed you can still smell the shit. Even though you take off the uniform your character and guiding principles remain the same. This struck a chord with me.
Even though I wasn’t going to be a Royal Marine anymore, I didn’t need to change. If I wanted to continue to thrive then I would need those values, standards and mindset more than ever. Service personnel, generally, have a mission. They like having a mission. As a civilian then I needed a new mission.
Those that know or spent any time around me know that I love a good quote and you already know I like a mantra. Snipers have a saying that ‘consistency breeds accuracy’. The personal qualities and mindset I’d developed as a Sniper and how they could be transferable in other aspects of life was how I decided to go forward and give myself a new mission. I was now out of uniform and out of the Royal Marines. The situation had changed, and I’d need to understand, adapt and respond to overcome. During a morning run I took a photo of a lighthouse. On returning home indulged my appetite to find a fitting quote and came across this one by Tony Birch.
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It dawned on me that Lighthouses have been operational for centuries. What they do is fundamentally unchanged. Although how they do it has evolved through time, knowledge and technology. To be useful and successful a lighthouse has to continue to do what it has always done, day in day out, night after night. This resonated with me and my new mantra of ‘Be More Lighthouse’ was coined.
I don’t have all the answers, I am still working life out and trying to find my way like everyone else. Life challenges us all the time, hits us with the unexpected, good and bad. There are no certainties, well maybe one! We all need to get comfortable with that. The Stoics teach us that the only thing we own, and control is our own reasoned choice. We don’t get to control what happens to us, but we can control how we react. I am confident that if we stick to our own guiding principles, do what’s important to us in a way that we’re good at without harm to others then we won’t go far wrong. We can all be a little more lighthouse.
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